art by Arlene Kim Suda

pay attention...

pay attention…

Tears of the Wind

Posted on September 21, 2016 by aks

the-morning-after-0

Tears of the Wind
An Ode to the Changing Seasons
2016.09.21

I
He had the gentlest spirit
And when he was near
I knew with certainty
that all life is divine and good
I still can’t believe that he is gone

The emptiness is unbearable
Even though I know his spirit
can be found
in the sky and in the sun
and in the depths of my soul

Now, I barely walk in this middle world
without missing him by my side
I look every day
to the north, to the south,
To the east and to the west

Searching for clues to find my bearings
But all I notice is the wild wind
A constant reminder
of the beauty
And agony of this love

II
What a wonder, this indifferent
And loving force in our world

Is it the wind that magnifies loss
Through a lens of tears

Reveals the divine breath orchestrating
the dancing irises fading in the garden,

the waving plant torn and trampled,
and my love’s last breath in my arms

It seems to weep for all of us
but does it care for any of us –

What billions of years of
secrets and sorrows does it hold?

III
In the stillness of this changing season
I have come to see
that the wind never blows
outside of
Time –

Time, the revelator
That moves us on
and exposes how we choose
to love
each day of our lives

A mirror of a whole and broken life
Shattering the silent chimes
Confusing
for this human life
to hear the long-ness and shortness of time

I try to make sense by counting
the days and the hours
49 days have passed away
50 since I lived
a blissful dream

IV
What starts to emerge
is an understanding
that sometimes it is just duty
to be here and
not to run and hide

To show up with compassion
for the painful demons that appear –
To look upon them
without anger, spite,
shame or fear

Maybe stop to make an offering
of a curious attention,
loving kindness, and mercy
Because darkness and light
are wired into the flawed beauties that we are

The dark woods
An uncertain source of our greatest wisdom
is where our holiest light resides
Light that will rise
and spread with the wind and time

If only we can make space
for the transformation
Reclaim the truth in our unbroken wings
seaward bound
to a white ocean

To catch a glimpse of infinity
Where light and darkness
blend together into
a beautiful unified void
of nothingness